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Pages: I honestly don't know the answer to this [1]
Author Topic: I honestly don't know the answer to this one
meger

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Posts: 10

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2012-05-11 23-58-35

I honestly don't know the answer to this one My feeling side says..heck yes. Tell. But is it gonna help? It'll make you feel good, but when the husband refuses to believe her and stays w/his wife once he knows the truth, she's going to be even more angry afterward. And feelings should never dictate action. The motivation for telling should be the factor for doing so. At first glance, my position in terms of my ren's involvement would be: no more. If the are older, I'd let this be a practical example of what happens when you're a shady POS. I'd allow my to watch this woman crash and burn, and make appropriate commentary as needed. But they also have no business in the middle of a bunch of effed up adult nonsense either. I'm not sure I'd tell on the lady. The lesson for her might be better in the end once her behavior ends up ruining her life.
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catanzaro

Sr. Member
Posts: 30

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2012-08-26 18-04-44

Stay out of it It won't last anyway.
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  • randleman

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    Posts: 49

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    2012-11-05 8-51-09-

    Do the world a favor, tell him. I would want to know. And you can watch your ex's world implode... bonus.
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  • adamek

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    Posts: 13

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    2012-12-05 11-11-31

    Would you want to know? ask yourself this, am I doing this because I am angry? if the answer is yes, stay out of it.Do not let emotion decide for you. I know you think it is the right thing to do, but I have seen this so many times, and the wife( or husband) never leave. If it is truly only in the interest of your , and no other motive is there, then go for it. You will hate yourself if it is done for revenge though. Be careful. Its a tough choice.
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  • hoxworth

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    2013-02-03 9-32-04-

    Which is more important? Your worries of this woman's values rubbing off on your daughter and this personal outrage? If you raised your daughter then this should not be a problem. That leaves the personal outrage born also out of some jealousy (right or wrong it doesn't matter) thrown in. Verses Or by telling this, will more than likely cause a rife in your relationship with your ex, the repercussions will reverberate down to your daughter's emotional well being. ---------------- It would be emotionally beneficial for your own daughter to see her Mother and Father, even though divorced conduct themselves in a civil manner.
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    godley

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    Posts: 38

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    2013-03-03 5-33-08-

    Should everyone just stick their head up their asses? She doesn't just have an obligation to her daughter but to all of society as well. Cheaters should be served up on a platter. If that were your ex wife hiding money and getting ready to take you to the cleaners would you not want someone to tell you?
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    montalbo

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    Posts: 44

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    2013-03-22 13-49-45

    It is a choice self sacrifice or what is best for her and her daughter. What you say may on the surface sound noble, but rarely is that the case. I agree Joe, but because I have an obligation to my own before this stranger, I choose my . I meant to type "rift" between her and the ex. Is it selfish to consider the welfare of my over this stranger I do not know?
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    petzel

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    Posts: 35

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    2013-05-10 3-51-34-

    what would she gain from telling on the GF? Other than vindication. Which is hugely important to a lot of us. It feels good anyway.
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  • cato

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    Posts: 11

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    2013-09-02 19-46-08

    If you are advocating to tell then you have never been in a situation where the ex and you are in constant battle over the slightest and in many cases no cause at all. It only escalates and really messes with the ' heads. They are dragged in whether the parents realize it or not.
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    dosia

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    2013-10-07 2-31-49-

    That depends, if the GF is a menace to society(and it sounds as if she is) would that also be detrimental to the daughters well being to have to associate with her?
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    sincavage

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    2013-11-01 23-53-58

    I honestly don't know the answer to this one My feeling side says..heck yes. Tell. But is it gonna help? It'll make you feel good, but when the husband refuses to believe her and stays w/his wife once he knows the truth, she's going to be even more angry afterward. And feelings should never dictate action. The motivation for telling should be the factor for doing so. At first glance, my position in terms of my ren's involvement would be: no more. If the are older, I'd let this be a practical example of what happens when you're a shady POS. I'd allow my to watch this woman crash and burn, and make appropriate commentary as needed. But they also have no business in the middle of a bunch of effed up adult nonsense either. I'm not sure I'd tell on the lady. The lesson for her might be better in the end once her behavior ends up ruining her life.
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  • Oriana

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    2013-11-28 9-55-35-

    don't be sorry~! We're the sum total of our experiences. I get it. :)
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    kyra

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    Posts: 66

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    2013-12-07 13-49-54

    Your right, it is a lot of ifs. But who is to say that she has to tell the husband herself? Can she not send an anonymous note,who has to know it was her?
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    kadel

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    Posts: 16

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    2013-12-12 2-28-12-

    LOL! I like it! ha ha!
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  • difabio

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    Posts: 54

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    2013-12-19 8-34-35-

    Either way the kid is fucked up, tell him
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    stepney

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    Posts: 62

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    2013-12-29 16-02-23

    tell him for the sake of the
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  • mccaw

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    Posts: 11

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    2014-01-05 0-59-51-

    MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS
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    stanback

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    Posts: 32

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    2014-01-10 13-22-45

    I think I'll wait I have documentation to prove what is going on. I think I will let the situation crash and burn through no fault of my own, then provide everything to the hubby to prove what went on. In speaking with our daughter she outright said it was wrong and nothing she would ever do. She also said that she was a cool lady alot like a friend of mine (not fordamn minute I thought to myself) and that she liked her. This keeps me out of the reason for everything ending but, still will give the husband a chance to show what went on. I don't believe for a second that this relationship will last, how could they ever trust each other? I am out of it but, he still knows.
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  • eble

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    2014-01-17 4-56-50-

    There is more than the relationship btwn you two and the . If that woman is knowingly diverting and hiding assets of her current husband (or their joint assets), it could result in a lawsuit for conversion or at least an extremely contentious divorce proceeding. And if she takes those diverted and hidden assets and merges them with those of your ex or spends them on items for your ex's household (as she is sure to do), he (and possibly your ) will be dragged into it as well. If that woman goes and tries to "launder" those converted assets by purchasing furniture or equipment or a car for your ex's household or, worse yet, purchase items for your , they will become a target (or at least evidence of conversion) in any lawsuit or contentious bankruptcy proceeding with her husband. I believe it is safe to assume that if she is the type of person who would convert and hide marital assets, she is also the type to try to squeeze as much as possible out of her husband during the later divorce proceeding, which will ensure that those diverted assets will become critiy important to her husband. In short, the biggest danger here is not your 's character being tainted by exposure to that woman or even the danger of your relationship with your ex becoming so hostile that it hurts your relationship with your , but rather the biggest danger is that the woman's current husband will drop a figurative bomb on that household based on that woman's conversion of their marital assets as well as her likely intent to launder those converted marital assets by spending them in your ex's household and then use that artificially reduced figure for marital assets to claim x% of the remaining marital assets (plus the previously hidden and converted assets).
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