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Pages: Romantic Quandry [1]
Author Topic: Romantic Quandry

Posts: 9

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2011-11-28 9-47-39-

Romantic Quandry I recently posted an ad in the CL personals and much to my surprise I've gotten at least x quality responses. I've met two of the men and they're great! My problem is I'm not a serial dater and I have these other great guys that I'm corresponding with that I'm not ready to meet until I rule one man out. That won't be easy, they're both fantastic. And I'm uncomfortable with dating more than one person at a time, too. It's sort of blowing my mind. What would you do? I feel like a bad reality TV show and I'm conflicted. TIA
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Posts: 16

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2012-01-25 16-20-23

then make a decision and pick one to pursue
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Posts: 14

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2012-04-09 18-48-21

I don't know enough yet I want to get to know them better, but hate feeling like it's a competition.
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  • whitenight

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    2012-07-15 0-48-12-

    yes..I see but it is really to see who fits well
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  • Kalila

    Posts: 25

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    2012-10-06 3-02-40-

    I know Just feels like a reality show at times. Rather cold.
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    2012-11-26 12-23-54

    Sleep with them both at the same time. Problem Solved.
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    Posts: 24

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    2013-01-27 0-19-59-

    post their pictures on rofo we will pick a winner.
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  • Lissa

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    2013-03-10 11-06-13

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  • schewe

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    2013-03-13 0-13-17-

    Yes! Or at least Post snippets of their emails. What was it about them that made you think they were of high quality?
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  • selle

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    Posts: 31

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    2013-03-13 1-54-56-

    Their responses were thoughtful And the email exchanges proved it even more. I was honest in what I was looking for and who I was, and their responses addressed my "requirements" which weren't many. Reasonably attractive, in relatively good shape, and financially secure. I also specified that I had ren living at home.
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    2013-03-13 8-51-14-

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    2013-03-16 16-38-59

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  • novitsky

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    2013-03-28 8-37-03-

    have a short coffee date with each so you can at least have a face to face
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  • orrico

    Posts: 44

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    2013-05-09 5-26-18-

    I think I'd be even more confused I am x years old and these are very nice, earnest men. I don't want to let anyone down.
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  • jurg

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    Posts: 47

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    2013-09-02 7-21-37-

    In response Here, read my post below: I know you're not a serial dater, and chances are you come from an older school of thought, but the world has changed, and most of these gentlemen know that, and besides... It's really really hard to tell from an email what a guy is truly like. You have to meet them in person. I can't tell you the number of times I've met someone from an ad and they were nothing like their ad. If you just narrowed it down toguy, you might choose the wrong guy and then you lose the other x. So you owe it to yourself to have a very short, very brief coffee meeting with all x of them...or at leastof the ten. And don't worry, they know the score. Men aren't stupid. Have fun, and good luck.
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  • reichart

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    2013-10-19 14-31-42

    Thanks I'll try to keep it fun and in perspective. So far, themen I've met (after a lot of emailing) have really exceeded my expectations. I'm pleasantly surprised.
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    Posts: 29

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    2013-11-17 9-48-24-

    Oh, you've already met two? And they exceeded your expectations? For real? And you can see having a long term relationship with both of them? Your instincts are telling you that? Hm, that makes me think then that you shouldn't meet all x. Maybe just the x best. Because I'd assumed that if you met x, maybe only x in x was truly a prince. But having to decide betweenprinces, even more, can be pretty problematic. This is good to hear, and I'm so happy for you. I hope everything turns out great for you.
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    Posts: 79

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    2013-12-05 16-04-57

    Thank you very much So far, I haveprinces that I could see having a LTR with. And I do have good instincts. I hate muddying the field. I'm already confused and conflicted. And for real! I never would have imagined that many great men were looking onpersonals. Thanks for your good wishes! I'm excited.
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  • steinfeldt

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    Posts: 37

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    2013-12-19 11-20-14

    How many responses did you get? I'm curious how many total email responses a woman gets. I know you said there were x quality guys, but how many total contacted you? And how you determine that x were quality men?
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  • milosevich

    Posts: 38

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    2013-12-29 18-26-42

    lol prolly x hot ones.
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    Full Member
    Posts: 57

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    2013-12-30 8-17-02-

    Probably x responses x were bots. A few wanted a cougar. A few didn't meet the parameters I asked for. The x "quality" men were guys that could actually write well, were honest, and we've had some great email conversations so far.
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  • fallis

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    Posts: 32

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    2014-01-08 19-19-25

    So all in all, maybe x? x actual responses x bots (approx?) x looking for cougars (approx?) And of that, x good responses. Not bad. I rememberperson here said they got x responses because so many guys just automatiy responded to everyone without really reading the posts. I've always been curious what the real number was. Anyhow, thanks. I have some advice for you in my next post.
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    Posts: 51

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    2014-01-11 21-15-48

    Thanks for the answer. Now my advice... Sorry, didn't mean to do the quid pro quo. I just had to step away from my computer for a while. My advice... So you say you're not a serial dater. Cool, I understand completely, and that's very considerate of you. But if you're narrowed it down to x great guys, I think you should have coffee with all x great guys. Just coffee. Keep it short, no more than an hour. Yes, I know that means x hours out of your life, but here's why I think you should meet them all... You'll pretty much know whichyou're willing to spend more time with inor three minutes. Some guys are really great at posting good pictures. Or even photoshopping pictures to their favor. Or posting pics from x years ago and x lbs ago. And any guy can write a good email message. So there's still going to be a little bit of misdirection just from the emails. There might beprince who turns out to be a great cyberjockey frog. And there might befrog who just doesn't know how to sell himself...and he might be the prince. And even after you meet them, it still might come down to x or x guys. But that's better than no guys. And don't worry...any guy responding to ads onknows the score. He knows you've seen a bunch of responses. So you're not hurting his feelings. I wouldn't tell him how many guys you're seeing, but it doesn't hurt to have a small email chat with each of them, keep it short, keep it brief, cut if off if they start to get needy or demanding or sound creepy, and try to meet most of them for coffee. Good luck to you!
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  • Kui

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    Posts: 20

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    2014-01-17 16-25-43

    You're right Thank you for taking the time to write such a thoughtful, cogent response. I'll keep the field open. I have to tell you, thead was much more productive than or I got some real, thoughtful men.
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  • lavery

    Posts: 28

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    2014-01-22 9-55-27-

    For me, as male hasn't worked out so well. Because the site is free, I've found that there was very little investment from either gender, so (again, just from my experience) you get a bunch of women being very very picky shoppers and a LOT of guys throwing darts. It was just too frustrating. I tried Nerve, and that was fun for a while, but thethat's worked out best for me is eharmony. I think it's because the fee is a little bit more than Nerve (so you get more people with an investment in finding a good quality mate) but also because of the test they put you through, there are more women on the site than men. At least that's what all the women are telling me. I think it's because most men don't want to go through all the trouble of paying a monthly fee and taking a test. Anyhow, I'm very happy for you, and hope you post here again letting us all know how it goes.
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    Posts: 40

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    2014-01-22 14-09-57

    Thank you again I was reluctant to pay for eharmony after paying for match, which was such a failure. Plentyoffish is basiy a cesspool. I think the difference in my ad was, I wasn't too specific in my requirements. I'm not looking for George Clooney. I just want a nice, pleasant man that's reasonably attractive, financially secure, with a similar lifestyle to mine. Good luck in your search! I do look at just out of curiousity and it's scary. is scary too, so I consider myself fortunate. I will keep you posted. The decision will be difficult.
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  • thompson

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    2014-01-25 18-45-58

    I don't know Give them all a survey to see whichlooks best on paper. Keep the top three.
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  • parkinson

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    2014-01-25 20-50-59

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    2014-01-26 23-52-16

    Give me a shot. Fuck those guys.
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