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Author Topic: Bi- desperate women in thief river falls ?

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2015-06-04 17-07-36

Bi- desperate women in thief river falls ? Ok, so I am bi--much like most of you! --and I got a question for you. I know some gay folk with overactive gaydar ("Oh, she's gay." "But she's here with her husband!") and some folk with ridiculously accurate bi- mature women seeking boyfrend nj ("I totally just stole this guy from his girlfriend...") and so on, but mine is weak at best. I can tell when someone is obvious--no offense to people who are, but if you're a guy wearing a pink shirt with rainbow lettering that says "I can't even think straight" then it ain't a question!--but I can't seem to pick up on who ISN'T obvious. Being a guy, there is a definite danger to asking out straight guys, although being straight seeming and mostly closeted, I'm less frightened of the fistfights than of the potential outing. I also find that many people who are keeping it on the DL will act, for lack of a better term, "gayer" when in a "gay" environment, be it a bar, a pride center, or whatever. It could be playing it up in order to pick up guys, or it could be finally feeling like they're in a safe enough setting to let down the mask they usually keep up. But the reasoning is irrelevant, I find guys who are overly "swishy" considerably less attractive. So I'm trying to figure out if there are any..I don't know...signs I can look for, or code words that get used? Like something innocuous you can ask a guy ("What is this music they're playing?") and his response ("I don't know. I'm more into Queen, myself.") that will signal he'sof us? Anyone know of anything? Got any tips/hints for improving my bi- wisconsin sex ?
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2015-06-11 18-35-05

duh, if you came out others would find YOU
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Posts: 65

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2015-06-12 4-09-57-

How would others find me? It's not like I would suddenly change the way I look or act--would you expect me to wear a shirt that says "Guys and mature horny ladies :I'll have sex with either!"? And it's not about others finding me, anyways. The question was about "how do I find others?" I get hit on plenty, usually by the more flamboyantly queeny guys. The type of guy that wears a shirt that says "Catcher" (when he's not in DG) and accentuates his sibilance, which, if you reread my earlier post, is the type of guy to which I'm less attracted. (I get hit on by gals as well, for the record, so I'm guessing I put out enough subconscious signals to tell both genders it's ok to approach me.) So, really, how would coming out help others find me? I just read this back, and I think it sounds kinda arrogant and snarky, which is not the intention at all. I'm asking genuinely because I don't know the answer.
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Posts: 24

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2015-06-19 9-26-53-

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Posts: 28

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2015-07-16 9-06-52-

Not easy I have been working on this, too. There seems to be no easy answers. It does seem that as I become more comfortable with my own gay side, I have become more aware of others from that prespective, and that helps. So, though I am only 'out' to a few close friends, I find I am much less threatened by the idea of being outed as a result of approaching a guy. But, it is still WAY difficult. I have heard thatshould observe who your subject is checking out. Gay guys probably won't be spending a lot of time looking at the girls. But with us bi guys, we'll be checking out everybody! Otherwise, I just try to smile at guys I like, and hope to strike up some talk. When in a gay-friendly environment it is a bit easier. Most of the regulars here are only around on weekdays. Maybe some of them will chime in.
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    2015-08-08 15-08-00

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