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Pages: a rarity these days [1]
Author Topic: A rarity these days
elisabeth

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Posts: 22

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2012-03-28 23-47-35

a rarity these days that i post with a question... the D is coming up in december, the L ed saturday to ask if STBX has paid any CS. I told him 'no', and he asked if i still want to pursue her for the CS considering that she has no intention to pay (and would rather go to jail). For the sake of DS, I told him that I wanted to pursue every means necessary to provide for my son, and that included going after her for the CS, and equitable distribution of debt. He agreed, and is handling that aspect of the D. my question is (although it's been covered repeatedly): (Morally) do you think it's fair that I'm pursuing her for x% of DS's expenses, knowing that she will refuse to provide anything, and refuse to follow court orders, resulting in her eventual incarceration? I CAN provide for DS alone, but at extreme sacrifice to quality of living on my part (something i've already been doing these many months). I KNOW she will do everything she can to hurt me, including zero financial assistance. Generally: is it right to pursue her to improve MY quality of life, thereby sacrificing hers? DS's quality of life is thething that will ALWAYS remain constant, as he comes first in everything. thanks for your input
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rentas

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Posts: 2

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2012-05-02 13-18-39

Of course you should if she had custody, she would pursue CS from you, so you should do the same. Just because women walk out of their families, they need to learn they are still going to be responsible for part of the . The didn't come fromperson, it came from both of you and both of you are responsible. If men have custody of their , mom needs to pay CS as well. If men have to, so do women.
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manser

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Posts: 12

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2012-07-04 14-56-54

right, but i'm not playing tit-for-tat I just want her to realize this is a serious, life altering event, and hopefully grow as a person, to contribute to her (ren). i doubt it'll happen though. regardless, i will do anything to give DS the best life possible, even if it's only a CHANCE to do so.
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zaccagnini

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2012-10-01 6-16-03-

you are absolutely right she even used DS's college fund to buy frivilous items (saved prior to marriage) because she felt she was entitled! any money she has, she spends on herself, and enjoying life, then claims that she doesnt have enough to help with EITHER of her ren.
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stoneham

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2012-11-16 10-55-01

Wasn't losing her enough for you? good grief. Why do you feel the need to control her and punish her. This is why you will end up like these bitter boob bobs trollign and whining and acting like turds all day long
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maust

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2013-01-21 8-08-31-

HAHAHAH! thanks, i needed a laugh :D
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margie

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2013-03-05 14-08-16

guess you don't pay yours ether greybie? Sad! Both Parents need to support thier ren. NO excuses. It isn't about control and punishment, it is about finances. Also, as I recal, she walked out on thier lives and that of their son. Nobody made her give up her son.
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mech

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2013-03-11 23-03-10

My are all grown up now and I raised them both alone and without support. All we wanted was to be free, happy and live out lives in peace.
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  • oiler

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    2013-03-28 12-10-35

    I prefer kid raiser or caregiving parent then again, I made my divorce as easy as I could on my ren and protected them from emotional harm and abuse.
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    goldsmith

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    2013-04-22 12-21-35

    No need to get defensive owners are parents that control or keep away the other parent. If you did this, it what you want, you ARE a kid owner.
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  • printz

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    2013-06-05 1-02-03-

    The other parent made a choice to leave so get over your control freak big bad self. The problem with you is that you have to control everyone and everything and name ing and demaning people is your way of feleling like a man
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    mauceri

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    2013-09-28 18-46-45

    ?? what ?? Strike a nerve did I? Okay, get a life - bye bye - lol
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  • philbrick

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    2013-10-30 13-41-44

    I think the whole lesbian forum is over here giving out all the negs, Damn!
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    Okey

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    2013-11-21 12-44-58

    They love you honey who cares if they neg you. I don't care. Usually someone trying to police things or someone who just found out about the rating option.
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  • brackman

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    2013-12-08 3-59-56-

    I know, they can neg all they want, if it makes them happy. They ain't no worse than the people I have been dealing with the last month. It will all come back to them ten fold. I have been taking the "high road" as you like to put it. It really works. Now, they can only blame themselves when they get the s from the courts. If you only knew.
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    2013-12-21 10-41-48

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    2014-01-01 22-52-15

    They knew the whole time, they're are just mad I don't want to share it with them.
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    2014-01-08 12-26-22

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    Leelah

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    2014-01-10 5-38-14-

    Not with them. If they were nice, I might consider it.
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    brigham

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    Posts: 20

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    2014-01-22 1-40-16-

    actually, yes. i made her give up custody because she nearly killed him. well, okay a little over dramatic, but at x months, it's detrimental to lose x% of your body weight, and have open, bleeding sores that are not being cared for. I took him back, not just for a better quality of life, but to ensure his health. she then gave up on him, and hasn't looked back! the moment she realized that i wasnt going to just give him up, she tucked tail, and ran
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  • Luisa

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    Posts: 77

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    2014-01-24 4-12-30-

    Again Her tucking tail was her choice. She could have had the chance to stay in your s life, even with you having custoday. She did not.
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    erbe

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    Posts: 39

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    2014-01-24 6-05-07-

    Remember Jester, What Goes Around Not to sound mean or anything but I was in the same situation a few years back and it came back to bite me in the ass when the ex convinced the to go live with her and took me to court for CS. It was brutal! In the end I was paying $x a month for x months where as she was only paying $x a month for x years.
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  • Candy

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    Posts: 37

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    2014-01-27 2-00-15-

    Even if he didn't do this and later in the life the went to live with mom, she do it anyway. Women like this are just that, hell bent on hurting the other person. IF they see a way to get more money and they don't have to work for it, they do. I see it everyday at my job. Too many moms using their as pawns, making acusations that aren't true. It's sad.
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    lawall

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    Posts: 54

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    2014-01-27 14-33-16

    LOL, there's no way she'll ever get custody seriously, she has no business raising a , and no means to take him from me. the only way she could ever possibly get custody is if i died, and she'd have a VERY long legal battle with BOTH of our families... not even her family will allow her to have custody of him. but yes, what goes around. all i'm doing is pursuing help for him. she can make her own decisions in life, and that is entirely up to her (disobeying a court order, etc) thanks for the input.
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    valdis

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    2014-01-29 2-01-57-

    What if the ren decide to live with her? If you go for the CS now it'll add up in arrears. In the event that something happens and the ren move in with her when they are able to make the choice you'll have all those years of CS in arrears on your side. If she wins the lotto tomorrow you'll get it all without the fight. It's not a matter of the court giving her custody. It's a matter of protecting the ren's interest and your own interests at the same time. All you'll be doing is having the tally started. Lets face it we need to plan for things. Who ever thought we'd end up divorced in the first place??
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    surface

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    Posts: 53

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    2014-01-30 5-49-28-

    one step ahead of you she's now $x behind in CS, and arrears started from the day of the initial order. i took that step in case she received another HUGE tax return (lastat my expense), or hit the lotto, or married rich, or whatever. DS would be covered if she turned her life around.
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  • wheelus

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    Posts: 19

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    2014-01-30 16-17-04

    Here is my take Yes, if I were in your shoes, I would do what you are doing and pursue it. KNowing you may never get it, live within your means (you probably already do) and when/if you DO ever get it, look at it as "extra" things to do with your . Both parents need to pay for their ren! As far as jail goes. I would pursue it, and that would include courts and potential jail threats. They don't put them in on the first few times, so if the X is so sutbborn and they end up there, you still get no money, BUT MAYBE the x learns a lesson? Don't know how I would feel about putting their parent in jail.
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    booras

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    2014-01-30 22-50-39

    Nogoes to jail for not paying support thats a lie made up to trick you into paying
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