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Pages: Please need advice on how to be Dom. [1]
Author Topic: Please need advice on how to be Dom.
linne

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Posts: 1

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2011-02-08 7-31-21-

Please need advice on how to be Dom. I posted my first post yesterday and today, And after reading some of the responses that where great by they way, I know now I really want to learn how to be Dom. My BF is really wonderful at being dominant over me. I love it. But I know his ultimate fantasy is to have me Dominat him. The thing is we have been together for a good long while and I don't swear or am pushy at all, so I think if all of a sudden I start swearing or being bossy he is just going to look at me like I don't have it in me and start laughing like I would be. So my question is how do I bring out my hidden dominatrix without humiliating myself and give him the best first time ever. Any stories on how you guy's became dominant over someone for the first time would be helpful especially those that are not naturally dom. Thanks all for any advive you can give.
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wenzl

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2011-02-10 15-09-20

this is has great advice and ideas
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santone

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2011-02-12 9-42-56-

Oh wow I didnt know this was out there. Thanks a lot.
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  • semon

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    2011-02-12 17-41-56

    my first time was last year over webcam. we were mostly experimenting and didn't necessarily choose that moment to begin switched play. when i told him to do something to himself and he actually performed that act i felt empowered and incredibly hot. it was evidence of the control he'd given over to me. after that, the rest fell in place naturally. i don't curse during these times. i don't raise my voice. i'm like this when i'm domming him in the same room, too. once you have your guy where and how you want him, try giving him an order and see how well he executes it. tell him the punishment if he fails to follow your command exactly to your liking.
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  • mccaw

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    2011-02-17 20-30-31

    I tell him what to do where to touch, what to fondle, etc. But he wants more forceful commands. Kind of wants to be humiliated.
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  • bearce

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    2011-03-05 19-27-59

    ah, nice insult his manhood, his dick, his ability to satisfy you. sit on his face. does he like pain? do you guys incorporate s&m as well?
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    fouts

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    2011-03-24 13-04-44

    thats thing I WON'T do His ex wife use to insult him in the package area so he is very uncomfortable about that. And I barely got him to understand that he is the best lover I ever had and there is nothing wrong with his package. So I cant do that to him again. I'm into pain it does nothing for him though.
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  • delnaz

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    2011-05-18 23-57-30

    what kind of humiliation does he want how about enemas then. does he cross dress? sissification?
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  • barnicle

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    2011-05-22 19-44-59

    no no and no He didnt like his last enema and no to cross dressing or sissification. he wants me to make him do things. Just be forceful. Like telling him to get on his knees and MAKE HIM lick me. Also his major fantasy is for me to have him come with me to bathroom and after I pee MAKE him lick me. Other then that he said to use my imagination. That is where I'm also stuck.
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    chaves

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    2011-06-25 19-31-45

    that sounds more like service, than humiliation
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    dake

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    2011-08-04 17-08-45

    oh i didnt know there was a difference. I'll look into it more thanks.
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  • boeckman

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    2011-09-13 1-43-20-

    yup, huge... ...when i bottom, i generally enjoy all kinds of service things(fetching her things, giving her a message, preforming sexual tasks) but very little humiliation(boot worship is the only thing that comes to mind that i like)
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  • iduna

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    2011-10-21 16-47-02

    What? you mean you aren't majorly into SPH? *pouts*
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  • soss

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    2011-12-21 23-32-19

    ok, you got me...SPH?
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    agudelo

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    2012-02-01 22-38-01

    whats sph?
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    wlodarczyk

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    Posts: 22

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    2012-02-14 11-59-21

    bottom and sub, i think .... ...for most people are almost synonymous...submissive implies a mental aspect that bottom dosent. I will let others further clarify. an example of a sexual task i would perform for my top is licking her pussy, at her request, hopefully by her sitting on my face
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    staines

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    2012-04-22 10-48-13

    interesting. i guess his desires are very specific. hope you guys get your kinks aligned. it will; be patient and open and talk WAY TOO MUCH and then forget it all on the day of play. hope stuff pans out, keep us posted :D
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  • hedy

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    2012-08-01 16-21-06

    I suggest you have a chat with him and make a litl of what he does want to be humiliated about. He is perhaps bi-curious? you could make him suck "your cock" (strap on), ing him a sissy, then fuck him. There is all sorts of humiliation play out there but you shoudl know his likes and limits in this area. Bondage is another thing you many both enjoy, it can be very sensual as well as D/s incorporating.
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  • triggs

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    2012-08-23 17-50-38

    one idea you can try is... ...fake it till you make it: Picture how you think a sadistic, take no shit Domme would act and be that way...make it almost like a role-play...as you get more comfortable, it will just come as second nature, and you wont be faking anymore
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  • batzer

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    2012-11-04 14-05-04

    I'm really nervous about laughing. I know I will. I laugh very easily at anything.
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    ging

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    2012-12-25 14-16-17

    Channel that laughter... into laughing at him, not with him. When you feel a giggle coming on... say something to him about how pathetic he is and just the sight of his ridiculous cock makes you laugh...
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    schweers

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    2013-01-21 0-28-33-

    Great question... I identify as submissive but am switchy depending on the partner. When I "top" (I doubt I will ever identify with the term Domme), I see myself as an enabler more than an inflictor. I tease and make the sub spit out his fantasies. I have him tell me what he wants me to do to him, then without it... then give in etc. It doesn't require a whole lot of agression, in fact i can be same coy self and get that hot "I'm in control" feeling for us both going.
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    adolph

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    2013-03-05 1-33-39-

    Hello.... Domme in Chicago here and a good place would be to go to some of the clubs. Just observing and networking with some of the folks is a good idea. You're not obligated to play when you go and the x area clubs I know of all offer an education class once a month. Good luck to you.
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    schindler

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    2013-03-23 7-21-40-

    L-N-L can you email me locations of these clubs and where they have classes
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